Lost

She wanted to be free of worldly things—

What she felt were puppet strings.

She wished upon each shooting star,

Taking each one for a ride.

They never took her very far,

Each fall killing her deep inside.

She gave up wishing, hoping for more.

“I’ll never try again!” she swore.

She resigned herself to life in strings,

Conceding defeat and covering her scars.

She lived and laughed with hated things,

Her eyes cast to the ground, avoiding the stars.

Then one evening a flash forced her eyes to the sky

And she saw a star that made her ache to try.

But she sat and she pondered,

Searching for the star’s inevitable fatal flaw.

She looked so long that her chance was squandered—

Fear had kept her too long and her star did withdraw.

Progress

I'm getting stronger,
Practicing relying on myself.
But I'm still so scared
Of ending up alone.
Is this what the call Progress?

Just

If only this blank sheet of paper
Reflected my state of mind.
I would give almost anything
To just let it all go.
No thoughts,
Just
Inner peace;
No words,
Just
Precious silence;
No fears,
Just
Soothing calm;
No great expectations,
Just
Me   
Breathing
In and
Out,
Existing as
Myself.

Abandoned Schoolhouse--A parody

I was given an assignment once to write a parody of Ted Kooser's "Abandonen Farmhouse." I stumbled across his poem today (found here) and decided to redo this exercise. It was pretty fun!

------------------------------

Abandoned Schoolhouse

He was a smart boy, says the quality of his test grade

on a pile of crumpled papers in the wastebasket;

a disciplined boy too, says the depth of organization

in a small locker; and a good, well-behaved boy,

says the worn seat of his desk

in the front near the blackboard, dusty from weeks passed;

but not a boy for studying, say the notebooks

with no essays and the unmarked workbooks.

A girl sat near him, says the nearby desk

covered with doodled flowers and the purple notebooks

filled with names of boys, and they had a teacher,

say the lesson plans made of meticulous thoughts.

Money was scarce, say the cracked test tubes

and chipped beakers locked in the science lab.

And some teachers too old, say the thick spectacles near the projector.

It was stifling here, say the dirty, sunless windows.

Something went right, says the empty room

on the sunlit campus. Well-laid supplies say

there was no natural disaster; the well-kept courtyard

says there was no bureaucratic condemnation.

What was the cause? Even the once ever-

present bells have ceased their ringing, leaving

us to wonder—until we find schedule on the wall,

proclaiming the holiday. Something went right, they say.

Tornado Locked Inside

----co
-ed---nf
----us

my thoughts all

uto fo odrer

I just can't think

S
--T
-R
---A
I
-G
H
--T

i stare at the paper
and it grows bigger and emptier
threatening to take me over



My thoughts just can't get out.
They stay locked inside.
Where you can't see.
And I can't say.
And I go on.
Like I did.
Just live.
Day to.
Day.

Always On My Mind

My fingers
-d-a-n-c-e-
nimbly across the keys
(hiding)
the thoughts of you in my mind.

wake up--------------You
get dressed----------You
drive there-----------You
smile wide------------You
do this-----------------You
do that----------------You
tick tock---------------You
don't stop------------You
go home--------------You
eat food---------------You
go sleep---------------You
don't think------------You
don't cry---------------You
forget------------------You

Be Healed-------------maybe someday

Running Away

S--F--I--G
--I--T--N
through my THOUGHTS

s
--c
a
----t
--t
e
----r
e
--d

around

JumPInG

about, but

--------ce-------
ed---Nothing---nt
--------er-------

Closing in around me,
So fast I can't break free.
I want--need--to be rescued,
And only I can save me.

I just don't know how.


I want to run

-just running-

run away,
away from it all.
Run from these people
who can't even save themselves.

I want to believe in myself again,
Reach for the stars without fear.
What will happen if I can't get out?
Perhaps I will simply disappear.

Would that be so bad?


No more second guesses,
No more self doubt.
I need to be myself again.
I'm getting myself out.
I don't want to disappear,
And I can't rely on anyone else.
I'll come back for you one day,
But for now I have to save myself.

In Your Head

Can't think
Can't eat
Can't sleep
Can't focus

or won't?

Won't think
Won't eat
Won't sleep
Won't focus

that's better

Same as yesterday,
But different.
My world is still

U,.-'P

s--i--d--e

D
O
w
n

But not for the same reasons.

Please tell me it's in my head
Please tell me this isn't the end
Please tell me you love me
----------------------------------no matter what.

I'll be better,
I'll try harder.
I'll be the best there ever was
If you tell me
"It's all in your head."

Old Notes

Old notes,
forgotten letters;
Misplaced memories,
from when we were better.

Love notes from you,
at first so full of joy:
"I've never felt so perfect
about anyone else ever!"
I was your girl,
You were my boy;
"I don't want to hold anyone else's hand but yours."
Hearts light as feathers.

Unsent messages from me,
blithely unaware of decay:
"You are the ) in my = )"
"I haven't felt this ALIVE in so long"
You held my heart,
Knew the perfect things to say:
"You're the only one I want,
So lovely, capable, and strong."

Scribbled notes from me,
As I began to sense something awry:
"I miss you, Love"
"I don't know what else to try"
Mistakes as I began to beg,
Teardrops as I started to cry;
"Tell me what I'm doing wrong,
I don't want this love to die."

Final letters from you,
Ones I'd hoped I'd never see:
"If I were in any other situation at
any other time, I would never hurt you"
Appearances tender and loving,
But brutal and spermicidal to me,
"We just won't be able to mesh long-distance"
Just an analytical review.

I turn the pages
one by one,
Heated ice crystals
escaping down my face.
Each word a new revelation
In what I have begun;
Never thought I would feel this way,
so much out of place.

Old notes,
forgotten letters;
Misplaced memories,
as I realize life without you is better.

Eggs

My thoughts:
S
-c
----r
-----a
--------mb
------------l
-------------ed




My brain:
-->*Fried*<--




My face:

• sunny-side-UP

My heart:
Sunny-side-
D
O
W
N

Broken, cracked

Just like Humpty Dumpty

Don't

Don't
Expect perfection
From me.
I am not even
Near it.

Don't
Think I'm wonderful.
I'm not.
I will never be
That good.

Don't
Live your life like mine
It's not
Even close to what
You think.

Don't
Act like you know me
When you
See only how I
Appear.

Don't
Expect me to be
The best
Model for your kids.
I'm not.

Don't make me disappoint someone else.

Gone

Gone,
leaving only
dancing shadowsto remember
you by

Gone,
taking my tears
giving me noguarantee of
forever

Gone,
nary a trace
of you remainsto acknowledgeour bond
Gone

—just

gone

Nightmare

Sleep
Never coming
Drifting further and further from my grasp
Breath
Coming faster
And faster now, shorter and shorter bursts
Shadows
Moving around
Circling closer to do terrible things
Fear
Already here
Closing in, choking the life from my breast

Until finally I awake

To find it all a dream
And I try to fall back asleep
To start it all again