Abandoned Schoolhouse--A parody

I was given an assignment once to write a parody of Ted Kooser's "Abandonen Farmhouse." I stumbled across his poem today (found here) and decided to redo this exercise. It was pretty fun!

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Abandoned Schoolhouse

He was a smart boy, says the quality of his test grade

on a pile of crumpled papers in the wastebasket;

a disciplined boy too, says the depth of organization

in a small locker; and a good, well-behaved boy,

says the worn seat of his desk

in the front near the blackboard, dusty from weeks passed;

but not a boy for studying, say the notebooks

with no essays and the unmarked workbooks.

A girl sat near him, says the nearby desk

covered with doodled flowers and the purple notebooks

filled with names of boys, and they had a teacher,

say the lesson plans made of meticulous thoughts.

Money was scarce, say the cracked test tubes

and chipped beakers locked in the science lab.

And some teachers too old, say the thick spectacles near the projector.

It was stifling here, say the dirty, sunless windows.

Something went right, says the empty room

on the sunlit campus. Well-laid supplies say

there was no natural disaster; the well-kept courtyard

says there was no bureaucratic condemnation.

What was the cause? Even the once ever-

present bells have ceased their ringing, leaving

us to wonder—until we find schedule on the wall,

proclaiming the holiday. Something went right, they say.